It’s sad how I’ve actually gotten used to being unhappy that even when something good happens I expect it to turn out differently.

Yes, the littlest things bother me. But when they all mount up it becomes something not so little anymore.

It’s almost like you make me forget about everything bad in the world. A lot of the time you’re the only thing that can keep me happy, and sometimes, that scares me. Lately I’ve realized that it feels like I’ve been depending on you for my own happiness… So if you ever leave, you’re going to be taking a lot more from me than you know.

I guess it’s partially true that I’ve become too reliant on you for happiness.

I’m not okay, no matter how good I may fake it. People who know somewhat of my problems tell me that they don’t know how I stay so happy and keep going… What they don’t know is how much I go through emotionally and mentally on a daily basis. Everyday is a marathon of constantly trying to think positive about everything, but “mind over matter” does not always stay by my side. It’s honestly been so long that the slightest bit of hope I had is so quickly fading and I don’t know if I can even pretend anymore.

You know what’s annoying? Being called a “hater” by a guy, just because I don’t think a girl is good looking… I talk about women who I think are attractive soo often, so what makes you think I’d keep myself from saying that this one girl isn’t, if I really thought she was…..

I don’t ask for much. To be honest, all I want is the simple things in life that people often seem to forget to be grateful for.

I honestly can’t wait until I’m old enough to live on my own. Without people assuring me what’s “best” for me like they really know, and telling me how to live my life like it’s theirs.

It feels like I’m putting my life on hold.

I want this spring break to be different. I want to go out every single day, and be reckless and spontaneous. I just want to have the most fun I’ve ever had. 

Even when I’m happy, I’m sad.